Like many black women, hair has always been a major part of my life. I remember having to sit for HOURS at the hair salon waiting for my mother and grandmother. As a child, I loved listening to all the adult conversations going on, yet had no idea what any of it really meant. The application of oil sheen signaled the long end to an hours long process. It was a familiar and comforting aroma.
As for my hair, first came the cornrows, then the beads. I wanted the cool colors like pink and black, but I was only allowed to have clear or white beads, because those were neutral colors that went with everything. Keep in mind, we only had vanilla ice cream in the freezer. That tells you everything you need to know about my mother, and our extreme contrast in taste. BUT I DIGRESS! After the cornrows phased out, then came the dreaded straightening comb. I’d be called to the kitchen, where one of the chairs from the table was placed in front of the stove where the heavy metal comb was sizzling on the burner. I hated it, but it was a necessary evil in the process to straight hair.
At age 10 came the monumental moment of a young black girl’s life…the relaxer, also known as a perm (not curly) and of course, creamy crack. The word crack is accurate, because it becomes addicting. We lived in a society that made straight hair a beauty standard, and if we wanted it without having to use a straightening comb all the time, in came the relaxer. My grandmother picked me up from school, and we were off to the salon. I sat in the chair in my catholic school uniform, and after a few hours of application, washing, and pressing, viola! My hair was straight.
When I got to high school, my mother let me get my hair wrapped. Basically, a wrap is when your hair is washed, drenched in setting lotion, and wrapped around your scalp using your head as a giant roller. Then , depending on the length and thickness of your hair, you sit under the dryer for anywhere from from one to two hours. Yes. That’s right, up to TWO whole hours. If your hair is not completely dry, it won’t set properly. After being combed down, your hair is flat ironed. You repeat the wrap process at night on dry hair, and sleep with your hair covered. A couple of years later came the hair process that became my staple up until 4 years ago…drumroll…a wash and set. A wash and set involves rolling wet hair with setting lotion in rollers, and that dreaded one hour plus dryer session. If that isn’t enough, after the rollers come out, your hair gets wrapped with mousse, and you go BACK to the dryer for another 10 minutes. But when I tell you it’s worth it, IT WAS WORTH IT. The result was a head of hair with the perfect amount of volume and bounce.
As I got into my late 20s, I considered going natural multiple times, but around that 3 month mark, I lost patience, and went back to the creamy crack. It was simply more convenient. Then, one day about 4 and half years ago, I made the decision to REALLY go natural. By that time, Youtube provided a multitude of women who had gone through the process, and shared their techniques.
Back in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s, most of us black women simply didn’t know how to maintain our hair in its natural state. Our only options were braids, locs, or simply, and afro. In our minds, that didn’t look feminine and glamorous, and it wasn’t socially acceptable. However, once we knew how to define our curls, that changed. There is some controversy on the need to define our curls, but personally, that is how I prefer to look, and have only straightened my natural hair twice in the past 4 years. It is in no way a simple or quick process, but I can’t imagine relaxing my hair again. If I want a straight look, I’ll throw on a wig, or as I like to say, stunt hair. But that’s another post.
